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Oy vey, Mikeyway!

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[Jun. 2nd, 2009|09:03 pm]
Oy vey, Mikeyway!
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okay so i think i'm gonna write an alicia primer that actually has information in it for people writing about her for bandgirlsbang and... because i want to.

also, new icon to celebrate! it's gorgeous y/n?

ALICIA WAY PRIMER
(with lots of pictures)




Meet Alicia Way (nee Simmons).



On November 6th 1985, Alicia Simmons was born to Steve and Kathy Simmons in an adorably tiny city in Missouri called Grain Valley (Pop: ~15 000).

This is her father:



pm a stunner, I know. This is his description of himself:
"TO KNOW ME IS TO KNOW ME. LETS TALK PERFERABLY AFTER I HAVE HAD AT LEAST 7 HOURS OF SLEEP. I PLAY IN A CLASSIC ROCK BAND CALLED THE ROADMASTERS. GETTING OLDER SUCKS BUT IM GOING DOWN FIGHTING ALL THE WAY. NEVER TRUST ANYONE OVER 60. DAMN IT USED TO BE 30.. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?"
What a winner, that Steve. The Roadmasters are beyond hysterical, by the way, look them up if you need to get your jollies on.

And her and her daddy, pretty blurred:



This is Alicia and her father when she was JUST A LITTLE THING:



AWWWWWW.

I don't know why there are none of her mother, sorry. I think maybe after the divorce she spent more time with him? No clue. She also doesn't seem to exist on the internet, unless she reverted to her maiden name, which is likely, but i have no clue what that is so I can't track her down. OH WELL.

So Grain Valley! There's a pool, a couple parks... And not much else. She spent a lot of time with her half-brother, Dakota, after her parents' divorce and her father's remarriage. so Alicia was introduced to the world of backstage really, really young, thanks to ~THE ROADMASTERS; she spent her free time, of which she had plenty, teaching herself to play 932574 instruments. She joined her school's marching band and jazz band, and they because a big part of her high school experience~.



Yeah, I know.

In her own words:
"While she was already hooked on music, it was the concert that her older brother Peter took her to at the age of 12-- a Metallica show that changed everything. One night is all it took for Alicia to immediately become obsessed with anything and everything heavy metal and the thought of being in, or working for a band. She started spending every possible moment plastering her walls, and spreading the gospel of heavy metal and rock music to anyone who would, and wouldn't, listen.

Annoying every single family member, teacher, and even friends to death with useless talk of how two different Metallica song's guitar riffs were just barely one note different, and what Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue was REALLY thinking when he was playing the 32nd note of the 5th song on the 2nd record. And as soon as she could, Alicia spent every possible weekend traveling as far as four hours from home (alone) to go to as many shows as she could, much to her father and step mother Paula's dismay."
That's right. As that last passage made clear... Alicia was nothing but a music-obsessed RAVING FUCKING FANGIRL like you and I. Travelling for shows, dissecting the minds of the bands she idolized... She probably wrote fanfiction. Did you know Metallica has a huge slash fic community? I'm telling you, I'm sure she dabbled. Imagine how uncomfortable that makes Mikey now. Imagine it.

Ahahahahahahaha.

Anyway, so Alicia got hooked on metal and hardcore, wallpapered her bedroom with pictures of Kirk Hammet, and eventually... met Sarah Dope!

This is Sarah Dope (AKA Sarah Suvan):



They became pretty much inseparable after they met, and also total enablers of each other's dorky music obsessions. They did everything they could to get to shows, driving each other, hitching with bands as merch girls, whatever. They did just about every behind-the-scenes work someone could do, and all over the midwest: they were fill-ins, techs, merch sellers, gear-haulers, and worked with labels trying to get new bands some exposure. Everyone was massively impressed. Their networking skills, in particular, began to shine.

Eventually, they did come to a (brief! short!) falling out, curing which time both their careers charged forward in leaps and bounds. When they finally did reconnect, they agreed it was pm the best thing that ever happened to them.

Alicia's toured with pretty much every band ever. Her employers include Avenged Sevenfold, Evanescence, Straylight Run, Rancid, Slipknot, 30 Seconds To Mars, From First To Last and yeah, Fall Out Boy. On said tours, she's lived and worked along side other big names like Finger Eleven, Something Corporate, The Academy is..., Armor for Sleep, Silverstein and Gym Class Heroes. Yeah, that's right, EVERYONE EVER. She's worked with pretty much every bandom band, plus she was on Warped a ime or two, which means she's also lived and worked with all of these people. Okay, not all, check the dates. But a FUCKTON of people.

Also, this happened:
"i will also admit i was a huge Kittie fan (weren't we all? hahaha)... i used to have this kittie necklace i wore everyday of my life for years. Then years later, i got a random email from the drummer of the band on Myspace asking me to come try out on guitar in a matter of DAYS up in canada at their expense... a few phone calls and ONE day later and i was in a plane. i had to re-learn every Kittie song in ONE night. i didn't get the gig, but i'm proud to say it was a very close call and they went w/ their close friend of 4 years, lisa."
LOL HER LIFE.
"Whats it like being a girl on Warped Tour?
its probably the hardest thing any human can go through. its the most grueling thing ever. everyday seems like the worst one yet. i don't really recommend it to many people. sure its all fine and dandy you get to hang out w/ soooo many bands in the parking lot at the end of the night, and some of those people will be people you REALLY look up to and cant even believe you have the opportunity to MEET them, but honestly, you are more concerned about being in your bus in the air conditioning or taking a shower than giving two shits about who's hanging out where and on what bus. trust me, its not all fun and games. at all. being a girl out there is even more hard... you gotta be tough, alot of dudes and chicks are lonely on that tour, and are all about summer lovin and 90% of girls on the tour end up seeing someone by the end its a LONG 3 mths to spend alone. (its natural ppl, your gonna put 60 girls w/ 600 guys, good luck staying single even if it is a summer fling) but ill tell you straight up... if you stay to yourself the whole tour and just befriend everyone and not hook up w/ anyone... at the end of the tour, everyone and their mom wants to be your best friend and you'll get 385734085 job offers. think of it as the ultimate test. its tough, and alot of days you need a shoulder to cry on. yes, CRY. but if you ever end up on warped... stay strong and it pays off."
Pretty sweet. With bad grammar. But that was three years ago, and her grammar seems to have improved. WEIRD.

Other things to know: Alicia is addicted to history and the natural world, watches home improvement shows and the Discovery channel (and all its offshoots: Biography, History) religiously, is into Japanese culture and speaks the language, loooooves animals, has bad taste in fashion but good taste in men, and loves building things with her hands. As does Mikey, incidentally. But you never pictured them bonding over handmade jewelry and carpentry, did you? Nuh-uh.



And now some pictures. I KNOW YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING. First let's start with the ones where we actually learn shit about her! Then we can move on to the shallow objectification. As she would say... OM NOM NOM.

Alicia is a massive stoner.



lol



Look at these gnarly-ass dreads:



Sup, Jared Leto. "OH SHIT GUYS I CAN SEE THE FUTURE IN THIS THING...!"



Br00tal. Honestly.

Alicia has a kidney disease (no idea what) that makes her weight fluctuate and sends in her in and out of the hospital, so sometimes she looks like this:



(I KNOW RIGHT)

...and sometimes, especially recently, she looks like this:



Okay, that's sort of an unflattering photo (for everyone involved... MISS E, WE THE KINGS? REALLY?)

Let's try this one:



sup bb ;)

Alicia LOOOOVES animals. She and Mikey have a fucking menagerie: three cats (Bunny Marie Way, Pumpkin Way and Snowball Way), a dog (Piglet Tree Way), and as far as I can tell, a snake. Also possibly a second dog, Susan, but I might be wrong.



They wanted another dog, Puddles, but he didn't get along with their other pets. OH WELL.

Here, have Alicia with some kitties and puppies:



(you can blame Megan Mayhem for the fail!makeup)



That's her old bunny, Darwin. I think he lives with her parents...? Maybe he's dead. I DON'T KNOW.



Someone else's dog!
The random Siberian husky puppy belongs to Travis Richter of From First To Last, I believe!
- conquer_minds
ESS YOU FAIL THAT IS DEREK BLOOM AND SOMER ATA'S DOG, LARS - GO CHECK DEREK'S TWITTER
- idle_grafitto



Bunny!



When she takes Bunny's hoody off, Bunny drags it over to her in her mouth and stares until she puts it back on.



Get it? BUNNY ears?



Don't. Even. Ask. She and Sarah Dope thought this would be a great idea.



It wasn't.



Family portrait with nameless snake and conjugal violence.



Sup, Piglet Tree? He's a manatee~



Bunny's a smart cat. I'M SO SORRY I CAN'T FIND PICTURES OF THEIR OTHER PETS just bunny bunny bunny all the goddamn time i swear i have more pictures in my photobucket of that goddamn cat than of alicia herself.



Family portrait with Bunny.



Someone else's dog again!



All cats love Transformers.



Yeah, she actually submitted that to icanhascheeseburger.com. No lie. She is such and internet nerd.

Alicia may or may not have dated Pete Wentz. This would be awesome! Except that if she did, it would have been while he was with Jeanae. Now, it's no secret that Pete and Jeanae were troubled and very on-again-off-again and none too known for their loyalty and faithfulness, but I just choose not to think about it. Up to you!























UP TO YOU.



I'm just saying.



SOMETIMES ALICIA DOES DIRTY THINGS TO LADIES.















And Mikeyway digs it!

Have I mentioned that Alicia is a giant?



She's 5'10" and she's not stick-thin anymore. I would really not be surprised if she had thirty pounds on Mikey. They're pretty much exactly the same height, but I think she might have half an inch on him. I don't know why, but I'm TOTALLY OBSESSED with this fact.







SHE IS A GIANTESS. This is awesome because it supports my domme!Alicia theory. She could pin Mikey down just with her size. HOT!?! I would say so, yes.

(a side note... about that domme!Alicia theory? It's not so much a theory as it is a fact.



ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MIKEYWAY YET? I SURE AM.)



Also, if she and Pete did screw around...? omfg lol he's like 5'6".

Alicia has friends! Some of them are famous! Like William Beckett!



Sup Beckett! And Jeffree Star!



Sup Jeffree Star! And all of Avenged Sevenfold!



Sup Avenged Sevenfold! And Audrey Kitching!



Sup Audrey Kitching! And this guy who I think is famous who she hangs out with a lot but i have no clue who he is!



Sup Creepy Guy! And Jared Leto!



Sup Jared Leto! And Hanna Beth!



Sup Hanna Beth! And Sonny Moore!



Sup pouty Sonny Moore! And... Hugh Hefner?



SUP HUGH HEFNER AND THE LADIES OF WMHC! And Andy Hurley!



And Andy Hurley! And Fall Out Boy! All of them!



Sup Fall Out Boy! And Dirty!



Sup Dirty! And Slipknot!



Sup maskless!Slipknot! And the Butcher (and I'm assuming that's Armour for Sleep but they might just be two dudes in Armour hoodies)!



Sup Butcher!

A million others, too, but I don't know shit about shit about metal bands so I have no clue who these dudes are.

And there's always WORLD'S MOST HATED CREW, AKA Alicia Pain, Sarah Dope, Miss E, Eliza Cuts, Hey Chris and formerly Megan Mayhem. I'm too lazy to picspam them, though. Sarah Dope/Angie GoGo/Alicia Pain OTP.

Anyway, on with the pretty and then with the bassing, and then with the Mikeyway.



SUP CREEPY GUY AGAIN.





Glamorous tour life, yep.



sarah dope!



miss e!





little label!bitch alicia AWWWW.





marry me, sarah.







THE FURRY COAT! Alicia is a fashion disaster.









alicia is a FASHION DISASTER OMGGGGGG















lol @ the ways having a "type"







wat









SHE TANS. no-one in this fandom tans except the non-whites, those genetically prone to it like gabe and pete, lol.



A MILLION FEET TALL





ELIZA CUTS. okay i still have no clue what happened with her and gerard, so if someone wants to tell me that'd be cool, but i find her adorable! i do! i think she's so fucking cute.







omg that poor thing and her poor kidneys EAT A SANDWICH



sup, what mikeyway sees every night.

although tbh most nights he probably just gets this:



BUT I'D GIVE MY LIVER TO HAVE EVEN THAT, SO.



sarah dope and angie gogo again. oh, look, i've defaulted back to not using capitals, when did that happen?



LEGS LEGS LEGS MILE-LONG LEGS



sup stormtrooper



sup my vagina exploding



glasses!



grrrrr



WHY IS SHE SHARING HER HOTNESS WITH THAT OLD GUY AND NOT WITH ME







honestly dudes i have so much respect for her now, but i can admit that my obsession stemmed from the fact that i think she is literally the single most beautiful woman i have ever seen in my entire life. HOLY FUCKING COCKSUCKING JESUS, BACK THIS SHIT THE FUCK UP AND JUST LOOK AT HER.



THE



MOST



BEAUTIFUL



WOMAN



I



HAVE



EVER



SE- fuq ya br00tal d00d



...-EN























LEGS LEGS LA LA LEGS



LEGS LEGS LEGS



hotness, hotness and good hair all around!



Mikey must've... I believe the colloquial vernacular is, "jizzed in his pants"?



















By the way, for those among you who wondered!



Her chest piece says "What doesn't kill you..." in French.

FUN FACT: HER BROTHER ALLEGEDLY HAS THE OTHER HALF OF "CE QUI NE VOUS TUE PAS" SOMEWHERE ON HIS BODY, AS IN "VOUS RENDS PLUS FORT" OR WHATEVER IT WOULD BE IN FRENCH.
- idle_graffito





fuq ya~



the fashion police need to come after her and everyone she knows asap. JEFFREE STAR, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?








... *snerk*



honestly

(side note... sarah dope is a foot tall omg and ten years old)



HONESTLY!

Alicia also filled in on bass on a From First To Last tour, so the internet was graced with photos such as these:



































lol fashion disaster.

You may have noticed... Alicia digs scrawny pale guys.



One in particular, as of late.



Oh, damn, you say to yourself. That guy sure is handsome. And so familiar! Where do I know him from? What is his name?



Tada.



SHE HEARTS MIKEYWAY.



MIKEWAY HEARTS HER.

THIS IS WHY:



So they got ENGAGED.



And on March 8th, 2007, they got MARRIED and she legally took his last name, to end the Alicia Simmons/Way/Pain confusion. She's Alicia Way now, none of this hyphenation business.



I have no context for that picture. I found it on Photobucket, comment-less. I know they got married backstage, so the cheap fake flowers make sense, and they got married while Eliza and Gerard were engaged, which explains her presence. And my capitals are back! Oh, hi there, capitals.



it's a shoop (original here) BUT IT MAKES ME HAPPY





MATCHING UGLY TATTOOS THAT SAY "FOREVER"!!!





SO UGLY!!! SO CUTE!!!



choosing their fugly tattoos.

















(domme!alicia/clingysub!mikey. AGAIN, JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE.)













UNICORNS













BEST. PHOTO. EVER. TAKEN. That's Dakota Simmons, btw, Alicia's brother.

















i thought that was a freaky baby arm for so fucking long lol. never looked closely.























HAND HOLDING!





THE END!






Yes, you are, Alicia. Yes you are.

"stay tough girls... its not all as glamorous as it all may look. its still a REAL JOB and its hard, especially when it feels like everything is going the right direction, something can happen to knock you back down to square one. stick to it, BE STUBBORN, it pays off. trust me."
LinkReply

Comments:
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 01:45 am (UTC)
i'm not asking why you know that. but i'll edit it in, sure.

but I KNOW I KNOW SHE REALLY DOES. ESPECIALLY WHEN SARAH HAD THAT BIT OF HER HEAD SHAVED? OMFG IDENTICALLLLL
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 01:54 am (UTC)
SHE REALLY FUCKING DOES, IT'S FUCKING SPOOKY

I MEAN, I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT MANY PICTURES OF SAM? SO FOR A WHILE I WAS LIKE... YEAH, LIKE YOU SAID, "I'M NOT BEING RACIST," BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE LIKE "YOU LOOK LIKE SARAH DOPE" AND SHE'S BE LIKE "WUT BECAUSE I'M YELLO!!! YOU FRUNTIN' ON ME!!!" AND I'D BE LIKE "EEP NO, MUST BE HALLUCINATING, NEVERMIND..."

BUT YEAH YEAH YEAH WTAF

SHE SHOULD KIDNAP HER AND USURP HER FRIENDSHIPS AND CAREER.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 03:49 am (UTC)
WHICH TWO? LOL I WAS WAITING TO SEE WHAT YOU'D THINK OH MAN

I THINK I'LL EDIT THAT IN, TOO.
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(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 06:45 pm (UTC)
really? damn.

wouldn't surprise me, though...?
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: iamsupernova
2009-06-03 04:15 am (UTC)
k so I see what you mean
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 06:46 pm (UTC)
<333
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: ishyface
2009-06-03 12:28 pm (UTC)
I approve so hard of everything here. nnnngh.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 06:47 pm (UTC)
:D:D

glad you enjoyed, hope you learned~
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nimmy
2009-06-03 01:11 pm (UTC)
in the pics below the words 'miss e' and 'woman' in about the middle are with Ian Watkins from Lostprophets (I have no idea of her connection to them but there are other pix of them)
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-03 06:48 pm (UTC)
she knows EVERYONE, that's how.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: mourning_night
2009-06-04 06:24 am (UTC)
Excellent. Always awesome to see stuff that's about her as Alicia and not Mrs.MikeyWay.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: rawkenr0ll
2009-06-04 03:32 pm (UTC)
lol thanks for noticing. i hate that everyone's like "omg i love alicia! she's hot and so is her husband!"

which is basically like.. "these are the reasons i value a woman! her appearance and the man of status she is connected with! what do you mean i'm a sexist asshole!"

so i shoved all the mikey stuff at the end. :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: alien_grlfriend
2009-06-06 05:09 am (UTC)
The creepy guy is Wes Borland. But this is awesome. Thanks for posting!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: modillian
2009-07-06 08:57 pm (UTC)
Aieeee, so cool! I learned a lot of stuff right here. Also! She's 5'10" and she's not stick-thin anymore. I would really not be surprised if she had thirty pounds on Mikey. They're pretty much exactly the same height, but I think she might have half an inch on him. I didn't know she was tall either. I'm just so accustomed to seeing wee tiny musicians. I am also 5'10", so w00t for tall girls!

Awwww, Sarah Dope dope dope! Alicia being a hotass! Alicia being adorable with Mikey, awwwww!

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: casey_sms
2010-08-02 10:50 am (UTC)
This is awesome. Love Alicia (+Mikey!).

Still don't really get why her last name was Pain for a while though :S
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[User Picture]From: nadialexandra
2011-02-28 07:34 am (UTC)
HI.
THIS IS LIKE TWO YEARS LATER BUT I LOVE YOU FOR THIS.
OKAY BYE.
(Reply) (Thread)